I never feel this way for a very long time
Those hopes all lost.
Darkness all surround me, no one t save me when i scream
no one t hear me out when i am feeling so bad.
I am so shag.

Now i understand when ones get depressed or sad , the best way is not t smk or drink th stress away . nor gng t your friends & telling them how you feels.
it is t type or write everything out.
pouring out everything by expressing them by words.
yeahs. so now i will start pouring Everything ! Names have been changed anw *

So yeah. everything now is in a mess for me .
i donknow how t cheer up , i m so stress ,
so stress by everything dropping lik a bomb on me.
Friendship , new life, hairstyle , job, studies & rs , i am even stress by the Doomsday .
how silly i m --"
Honestly . My job is like sh*t . & I THOUGHT i have found smthg good.
i have t knock ppl door .( and basically i m dng old block**)
so imagine . Fuckers ppl who tell me " see i live at this so old block i m so poor lah . arbo you give me money btr right ? "
&& people that say " i really vegetarian / never go thr / never go out dine !
shit yoo lah . you forever lock yourself at home and rot & die btr lah!
--
okie i m fa xie -ing !
i feel btr scolding them
seriously th job is not for me ! why !?!
bcos i cant laugh & smile when ppl reject me ! --
& the company first policy is t still smile no matter how stupid th ppl make you feel --

Ya friendship !!
i really can use my fingers count how many true friends i have !
really finger can count alr.
when i have troubles i only have just a number t find.
& when i have happineess i have thousands
fuck ! -- whr has all those promises of gng thru thick & thin gone t ?!
vanish in th fucking air?
i regret . spending so much precious times on all tt ppl .
& i m really stil thinking . wht are friends really for?
make use of each other. getting benefits frm some way or another
i treat each & every friends lik gems . & wht fuck i get back!
i promise i m not gng t be so trusting next time . & i promise t be really anti-social.
i don need much friends anw.
i just need true friends tht will stand by me thick or thin & share my happiness .

& seriously through my life journey , i have doting dad who helps me when i m in trouble,
i have just a few friends tt willing t stand through me.
i passed my psle . i passed my o level ,
i have nice nice peepos coming in &out of my life.
who helps me . ( Gui ren )
i have not have any misfortunates ,
i have healthy body & mind.
wht do i have t stress abt !
& tts it. cos i have not accomplished anything
i m not good in studies nor job .
i have been in and out of job
i cant stand ppl giving me attitude.
Who th hell do i think i m
i m not born w thousands & thousands stacko of money stacking on me .
i m not born genius
i m not born w model life!
\shit i just have t work harder LAH!
bt i no motivation !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just want t die .
die
die
die
die

& DAMN . someone say ppl love also hard.
fuck you okay!
--"